3 Reasons to Set Your ADHD Diagnosis Aside
You have the diagnosis. Whether that's ADHD, anxiety, OCD, or autism, you put a label on it and move along. But naming it isn't the same as changing it, and if you've labeled your way to a dead end more than once, this episode is about why.
Holding a diagnosis too close blocks the work that helps, whether you're the one living with ADHD or the clinician sitting across from someone who is. That's Jenna's argument, and it's not a case against the diagnosis itself. When a diagnosis sits at the front of the work, it becomes an easy stopping point. "That's ADHD paralysis, nothing to look at here" ends the conversation before it starts. Jenna walks through why that dead end forms, what fight-or-flight does to the brain once you're in it, and why nervous system regulation for ADHD works underneath the diagnosis instead of around it.
Once your body moves into fight-or-flight, executive functioning drops. Planning, prioritizing, and accurate time perception get harder. A nervous system running on survival mode wasn't built for those tasks. Jenna gets specific about what triggers ADHD symptoms from a dysregulation angle, and why the rushing, the time blindness, the overwhelm that get filed under "just ADHD" often trace back to something workable underneath.
Here’s what’s covered:
Why keeping a diagnosis at the forefront leads to assumptions you won't notice yourself making
What fight or flight actually does to executive functioning, and why that matters for ADHD paralysis explained in real terms, not textbook ones
The overwhelm that builds when you get stuck sorting out what's ADHD and what's dysregulation
Why regulation can shift and a diagnosis often can't, and what that means for where you put your energy
The hiking analogy Jenna uses with clients and in her own life: the terrain doesn't change, but how you hike it does
When to bring the diagnosis back into the picture, and why "for now" is carrying most of the weight in that phrase
The dysregulation and the diagnosis can look identical from the outside, and most of the time you won't know which one you're dealing with until you've actually done the regulation work. Jenna's not asking you to solve that puzzle first, but to stop treating the terrain as fixed before you've even tried changing how you walk it.
"You have the hiking trail you have. You can get better hiking boots. You can learn the trail. You can pace yourself. There's so much we can work with."
If you're a therapist, coach, counselor, or social worker who wants to learn more, Jenna's hosting a free ADHD Clinician training built around this exact approach on September 21st at noon Mountain Time.
For the full framework beyond what one episode can hold, The Simple Guide to ADHD Regulation walks through it end-to-end.
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More about ADHD with Jenna Free
ADHD with Jenna Free is a podcast for adults with ADHD who are done surviving their symptoms and ready to start thriving with ADHD, without the endless tips, hacks, and workarounds that have never really fixed anything. It's also the show where therapists, coaches, and counselors come to deepen their understanding of treating ADHD in adults and learn what regulation-based care looks like in practice.
Hosted by Jenna Free, a Canadian Certified Counselor (CCC) and ADHD therapist, this show exists to give you a completely different way of understanding ADHD in adults. You're stuck, overwhelmed, and exhausted because your brain is running on fight-or-flight. Willpower was never the solution, and once you understand that, everything changes.
I’ll answer questions like:
Do I have ADHD?
What is ADHD task paralysis, and how do I get unstuck?
Why is my ADHD getting worse in my 40s?
What do ADHD and perimenopause do to your brain?
How do I manage ADHD emotional dysregulation without medication alone?
Why do I procrastinate so much with ADHD?
Why don't ADHD tips and tricks ever work long-term?
What does it look like to thrive with ADHD?
What does nervous system regulation have to do with ADHD?
How do I stop feeling overwhelmed with ADHD?
How do I get trained to treat ADHD in adults using a regulation-based approach?
What does ADHD therapist training through a regulation framework actually cover?
This podcast covers the full experience of living with adult ADHD: the real science behind procrastination in ADHD and ADHD task paralysis, why ADHD and perimenopause collide in ways no one talks about, and the solution-focused conversations most ADHD podcasts aren't having. For practitioners, Jenna also gets into the clinical side: what nervous system regulation training looks like, how to apply a regulation framework with clients, and what ADHD coach certification and ADHD therapist training often omit. Jenna shares her own story throughout, what it looks like to go from chronically dysregulated to thriving, so whether you're living with ADHD or working with people who are, you can see what's possible.
This show gives adults with ADHD, newly navigating a late diagnosis, and clinicians seeking ADHD continuing education one thing: a clear path toward healing
If you're an adult with ADHD who's tired of the commiseration and ready for a show that believes your life can look completely different, or a practitioner who wants to understand ADHD at the nervous system level, you're in the right place.
The unedited transcript for this episode of ADHD with Jenna
Why Put the Diagnosis Aside?
Jenna Free [00:01:03 - 00:01:58]: All right, let's dive in. When I work with ADHD clients on regulation, I start by saying, for the time being, let's put all your diagnoses aside. ADHD, anxiety, OCD, autism, whatever you have been diagnosed with, let's just put that to the back of our minds. It is not that these things are irrelevant or that they're not real or they aren't a piece of the puzzle, but they can all intertwine and overlap with dysregulation and get in the way of the regulation process. And this episode is why that happens. And why you're going to be so much better off as a clinician or as a client in doing this. Now, at first, this might put your back up to a wall. You might feel, oh, that doesn't feel right.
The Emotional Reassurance of Diagnosis
Jenna Free [00:01:59 - 00:03:08]: Like, I felt so reassured when I got my diagnosis. Honestly, whatever that is, ADHD or otherwise, I felt so seen, like I fought for that. I don't want to just ignore it now. So I totally understand that there's going to be some weirdness about it, which is why I wanted to have a whole episode about this and the why behind it. Because this is not about ignoring your neurodivergence, ignoring the things that you've connected with and have really helped you feel seen and understood and like it's not your fault. But there are 3 reasons we're going to be getting into Why, if you keep these diagnoses at the forefront, it's really going to interact negatively with your attempts to get out of fight or flight. Whether this is your first episode or your 70th, let's do a little refresher of why do we care about regulation? Why do we want to get out of fight or flight? With ADHD in particular, you are going to find being in fight or flight increases those ADHD symptoms that we hear so much about. Decreases your executive functioning, which I know is kind of intertwined in those symptoms.
The Impact of Dysregulation
Jenna Free [00:03:08 - 00:03:48]: So your ability to prioritize, plan, perceive time accurately, think logically, all of that is impaired. You are going to be biologically blocked from enjoying life. So if you're feeling or hearing this from your clients, that life is just Get through it, rush to get it over with so I can go lay down and I have to wake up and do it again. This is not a fulfilling, rewarding life. And you're feeling resentful of life. That is all what fight or flight does. It biologically blocks us from enjoying the moment and really soaking life in. And that's a huge part of this work.
The Aim for ADHDers: Function and Enjoyment
Jenna Free [00:03:49 - 00:04:32]: I want ADHDers not only to be functioning well in this world we live in, because it's the world we live in for better or for worse, I want us to be more productive because it feels really good to do what you want to do when you want to do it. But I also want you to enjoy this dang life. It is happening now. And of course we don't want it to pass us by. So here are the 3 reasons why we want to put that diagnosis aside for now. The first is you will make assumptions even if you don't realize it. So let's take ADHD symptoms. If we are really focusing on the fact I have ADHD and these are the symptoms I have, You will think things like, oh, paralysis, that's what I'm experiencing right now, that's a part of ADHD, nothing to work on here.
Reason 1: Making Assumptions
Jenna Free [00:04:33 - 00:04:53]: Or, this is because of my OCD, nothing to see here. I'll just pass this by and not look at it any further. I know the label for this symptom, let's just put that label on it. You know, let's stick with ADHD paralysis. That's ADHD paralysis, no point looking any further. I'm going to assume. That's my ADHD. Nothing I can do about that.Jenna Free [00:04:54 - 00:05:37]: And carry on and try to go find some other regulation to work on. There could very well be some dysregulation tied up in any symptoms you experience. Dare I say, almost always. I would say always, but I know there's always an outlier. But if we keep our labels and our symptoms top of mind when we're doing this work, We can subconsciously, and that's the thing, you're not going to realize you're doing it. Your brain makes a lot of assumptions, especially as an ADHDer. I don't know about you, but I know for me, my biggest issues that do show up are, oh, I see my brain made an assumption there. I didn't even know I didn't know that.
Jenna Free [00:05:37 - 00:06:11]: My brain assumed, it filled in the gap without me even knowing. It was so subconscious that I looked no further because I went, oh, I know what that's about. And then later I go, oh, I had no idea. My brain really does that a lot. So you may find yours does too. So if we make the assumption that, nope, no dysregulation here, this is just my symptoms, how are you going to change anything? Because for ADHD, we're taught to put labels on things we experience. And I totally get, especially at the beginning of our journey, that can feel so good. Oh, I'm understood.
Jenna Free [00:06:11 - 00:06:30]: This has a name. I'm not just weird. This isn't just me. I feel seen, which in and itself is somewhat regulating. I understand that when you're panicking, like, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? That's very dysregulating. When you go, oh, it's ADHD paralysis. I'm not lazy. This is a real thing.
Jenna Free [00:06:31 - 00:06:49]: In the short term, that's going to really be regulating, but it can also put up a wall. It can also put up a dead end and go, oh. Let's go to another symptom. Oh, rushing. That's just how we are. That's just ADHD. Moving on. Can't do anything about that.
Jenna Free [00:06:50 - 00:07:33]: Oh my goodness. Rushing is one of our major things we need to work on in regulation. And there are a lot of people who believe that's just how ADHDers are. That's just part of my diagnosis. So, you know, move along. And that moving along is going to keep you stuck forever. We have to be able to look at everything we experience and go, oh, well, what's the dysregulation here in this rushing? What's the dysregulation here in this paralysis, in this waiting mode, in this overwhelm, in this time blindness even? We don't want to take anything and assume it's unchangeable. And if you have your diagnoses top of mind, that's what's going to happen subconsciously.
Reason 2: Overwhelm, Rigidity, and the What's What Trap
Jenna Free [00:07:34 - 00:08:17]: All right. Reason number 2, if we hold our diagnoses close and at the forefront when we're doing regulation work, you or your client is going to get really wrapped up in overwhelm and rigidity in trying to figure out what's what. But what if this is dysregulation? And what if this is ADHD? Honestly, we don't know. We don't know until you get regulated. So for now, let's assume it's all dysregulation and see what we can do with it. Okay. If this was all my nervous system in fight or flight, what would I do about it? And that's what I teach, right, is the how-to. In the clinician training, I'll be talking to clinicians about how to help your clients with this.Jenna Free [00:08:18 - 00:08:53]: And in ADHD groups, this is where I work with individuals to do this work for themselves. So this is huge. We have to, as I say, put our regulation goggles on and go, okay, everything's dysregulation. One of the reasons people become preoccupied with figuring out like, what's my ADHD? What's dysregulation? Is fear. I wanna know what can't be changed so I don't waste one single second on it. And so I'm not disappointed. And I've seen that with certain, even group members. They'll bring this up multiple times in groups, which I am totally fine with.
Jenna Free [00:08:54 - 00:09:49]: If you ever work with me, that's a big thing is like, ask the question you need to ask 10,000 times if you need to, because we need to get through it and find the angle to help you get past that. But this one person was like, yeah, but what's the ADHD and what's dysregulation? It's like, well, what part of you needs to know exactly what's what? What is the fear there? When we are in fight or flight, pretty much everything's fear fueled. So what are you afraid of? If it is ADHD, and for some people, that's going to be, well, I'm going to be full of shame if I try to regulate through this aspect of what I'm experiencing and it doesn't change, I'm going to feel shame. Well, then we're not doing true regulation work because regulation work comes with a lot of accepting what is. There is no guilt, shame, urgency, fear. So you are safe to go, let me see what I can do with this. And if nothing, then nothing. That's fine.
Jenna Free [00:09:50 - 00:10:33]: Great information given to us. Oh, okay. This, you know, I'm having a hard time finding a symptom that won't be affected by regulation work, but I would say my memory, for example, everyone's different, I understand, but my memory is, you know, that's still rough. I still need a lot of supports for that. So if at the beginning of my journey, I was like, okay, let me see, you know, Why do I have such a hard time remembering things? Is there dysregulation here? Even if I come out the other end and go, you know what? No, I think this is just part of my brain and how I function. Okay, good. At least I dug around in there and saw what's what. It is safe to try and it not change.
Jenna Free [00:10:34 - 00:11:26]: And that is going to feel scary when you're in fight or flight. If it doesn't change, That's okay. You are safe. The uncertainty and the time it will take and being okay with it is a part of the regulation work itself. So this is why we don't want to get too hung up on what's what, what's happening here, what part is this, and is this dysregulation or is this ADHD or is this OCD or is this— quite frankly, who cares? If it's dysregulation, we can work on it. If it's a part of a diagnosis, there might be Not much we can do, but as mentioned, very few symptoms that aren't going to be improved with regulation. So the fear is quite unfounded. Like, oh, what if I worked so hard at all this and nothing changes? We will always see some improvement with regulation.
Reason 3: What's Changeable and Shifting Focus
Jenna Free [00:11:26 - 00:12:12]: Nothing's ever going to be perfect, but it's safe to put that diagnosis aside. And reason number 3. Regulation can be shifted and changed. Many diagnoses cannot. So to focus on what is ADHD is slightly pointless because what we're trying to do when we're trying to label these things regarding reason number 2 is, okay, well, if you're saying, oh, this is just my ADHD and that can't change. Well, where does that get us? We have the brain we have. Being overly invested in trying to figure that out leaves us with nothing to do to make things better. Of course, this is where we go to supports, the external things, routines, tools, strategies, and that's going to fill some gaps.Jenna Free [00:12:13 - 00:12:42]: I have 2 tools that I use with all my regulation work. You know, I still have some gaps that need to be supported with tools and strategies. One is my calendar. I talk about it and show it a lot, my paper calendar system. Super simple, super basic. I highly recommend if you do use tools for you or your clients, they are the simplest form of whatever they need support in. And then I have a wristwatch. It is just a watch.
Jenna Free [00:12:42 - 00:13:19]: It is not a smartwatch. It is not tracking 10 billion things. It simply has the time on it so that at any given moment, if I'm kind of lost in space and time, I can go, oh, what time is it? Super helpful to not have to check my phone all the time and get sucked into that. Those are the 2 tools I use. That's it. Of course, I have a computer, and so I have some little systems here and there, but they're very much just like what organically works for me. I didn't have to sit there and conjure up some big complicated system. If you're focusing on regulation, the tools and strategies should be filling the gaps around that, not the The core thing.
Jenna Free [00:13:19 - 00:14:27]: And if you are focusing on the diagnosis of ADHD, again, subconsciously, even for the clinician or the client, you are going to be looking for ways to fill those gaps externally instead of doing the work internally that's naturally going to fill a lot of those holes, or at least lessen the cracks, if you will. They're going to be much smaller, much easier to fill. There's gonna be much less you need to do to support yourself, and oh, it's just so nice not to do so much. We can be differently and do less. Really, really rewarding, and that requires putting the ADHD diagnosis aside for now. The for now is very key. So when do we bring the ADHD diagnosis back in? There's no hard, fast rule, but If you are working on nervous system regulation, the clinician and you as the client both need to know, okay, whatever we're dealing with is going to have some elements of dysregulation. So let's at first give it a good couple months.
When to Bring the Diagnosis Back In
Jenna Free [00:14:28 - 00:15:07]: Just look for the dysregulation. Put everything else aside. Let's dig up, okay, what's happening here regulation-wise? Let's work on that. Then we can see, okay, of course we gotta support ourselves along the way. You're not gonna be drowning and get rid of all tools and strategies because you're working on regulation, but we wanna give it some time to really focus on it. And I do say, you know, put the diagnosis aside at first, but really for the rest of your life to a degree. I mean, I have no shame in having ADHD and I'm forthright with it. Obviously it's been part of my work, so I'm very open about it.Jenna Free [00:15:08 - 00:16:00]: I know I have ADHD. I see it in some of the ways I think and some of the ways I do things, but I still, first and foremost, am always looking for dysregulation in things I'm struggling with before I go, oh yeah, well, this is a part of ADHD and here's the supports I need. It's my first line of defense still to this day. And it's been a few years of me doing this quite intensively. Like I haven't put regulation aside and not considered it ever because it will always be the most powerful tool to get you that strong foundation along with the tools and strategies that can go on top. So I tried to think up an analogy because I think that's so helpful to conceptualize these ideas of, you know, what's comparable to having ADHD and doing regulation work and putting that together. And so one is like terrain. And how you hike it.
A Helpful Analogy: Terrain and Hiking
Jenna Free [00:16:01 - 00:16:18]: So ADHD is the terrain. It's rocky. It can be uneven. It is what it is. You have the hiking trail you have. Now, we don't want to go and flatten the mountain. That would be really challenging, a lot of work, and we can't do it. But you can get better hiking boots.Jenna Free [00:16:18 - 00:16:32]: You can learn the trail. You can pace yourself. You can know when to rest. There's so much we can work with. To make the hike a really wonderful hike. We can make it pleasurable. We can make it effective. We can preserve energy.
Jenna Free [00:16:32 - 00:17:20]: We can hike it so well and have such a good time doing it. And the trail is what the trail is. I think that's a great analogy for it. So when you start getting really fixated on your client's ADHD diagnosis, or you as the individual, your diagnosis, go, okay, am I working on You know, how I hike it, or am I trying to change the trail? And the regulation is how you're going along this life with ADHD, going along this trail. And it makes a huge difference. I am telling you, my hike prior to regulation work felt like, you know, those huge heavy packs people have when they're going on like a month-long trip. I felt like I was carrying that with flip-flops on. Hiking this life.
Jenna Free [00:17:21 - 00:18:04]: Now I feel like I have a little fanny pack and I'm in proper hiking boots and a proper jacket, so I'm not cold. And I'm like, this is actually fine. Yes, it still can be a hard hike sometimes, but it's just fine. I'm not complaining about anything. So that's the change that regulation can make. Still on the same trail. That has never changed. But my experience of the hike has been a completely So if you're ready to support your clients in focusing on their regulation and making their hike easier, along with making the other things you do with your ADHD clients more effective, you can grab your spot in the free ADHD Regulation Method training for clinicians in the link in the show notes.