Why ADHD Overwhelm Happens and How to Regulate It
You've done the list. You've tried timers, planners, and the "just pick one thing" advice, and none of it touches what's really happening. Which is that your brain is in full threat mode, and it physically cannot do what you're asking it to do.
ADHD overwhelm is a nervous system event. The amygdala lights up, signals danger, and the prefrontal cortex, the part responsible for executive functioning, planning, and rational thought, goes offline. Blood flow actually leaves that region. The reason you can't pick a task, can't get off the couch when there's too much to do is biology, plain and simple.
And for ADHDers, this isn't a sometimes thing. Chronic dysregulation means minor stressors can tip the brain into fight or flight, which is why showering felt overwhelming before it felt manageable, and why adding more strategies on top of a nervous system already in survival mode never actually works.
This episode is about what's really going on with ADHD overwhelm, including why it's a distortion of perception rather than an accurate read of reality, and two specific visualizations that help retrain how the brain is processing time and tasks.
Here's what we cover:
What ADHD overwhelm is at the brain level, including what the amygdala and prefrontal cortex are each doing when it hits
Why ADHDers are in chronic fight or flight, and how that makes ordinary tasks feel like genuine emergencies
The cognitive and temporal distortions that come with dysregulation, and why your sense of how much you have to do is almost always inaccurate
How naming what's happening (overwhelm, fight or flight, dysregulation) does regulation work by bringing the thinking brain back online
The Tetris wall versus the dotted line: a visualization for retraining how you perceive time and a packed day
The brick wall versus the brick path: a visualization for breaking down large tasks when ADHD paralysis kicks in
Why perfectionism about choosing the "right" next step is itself dysregulation, and what to do instead
Why ADHD overwhelm is not permanent or inevitable, even if it's been the baseline for a long time
Overwhelm is real. The feeling is real, the biology behind it is real, and the perception it creates is very real. And perception is also where the work happens, because the wall is not the same thing as reality.
"Naming a feeling engages the prefrontal cortex and quiets the amygdala. Saying 'I'm in overwhelm right now' and knowing that's how you're seeing things, not that there's real danger, is not just a nice reframe. It's doing real regulation work."
If you're working on ADHD nervous system dysregulation, grab Jenna's free guide, The ADHD Regulation Guide.
Or if you have a therapist, coach, or anyone supporting you on your ADHD journey, mention the ADHD Regulation Method to them. Ask if they've heard of it, and feel free to send them to the podcast or to jennafree.com. This work goes deeper when the people in your corner build on the same foundation.
And if you're a therapist, counselor, coach, or occupational therapist who wants to bring this work into your practice, get on the waitlist for the ADHD Regulation Method certification, launching in September 2026.
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More about ADHD with Jenna Free
ADHD with Jenna Free is a podcast for adults with ADHD who are done surviving their symptoms and ready to start thriving with ADHD without the endless tips, hacks, and workarounds that have never really fixed anything.
Hosted by Jenna Free, a Canadian Certified Counselor (CCC) and ADHD therapist, this show exists to give you a completely different way of understanding ADHD in adults and the signs of ADHD in women. Because the reason you're stuck, overwhelmed, and exhausted isn't a lack of willpower, it's that your brain is running in fight or flight. And once you understand that, everything changes.
This podcast covers the full experience of living with adult ADHD: the real science behind procrastination in ADHD and ADHD task paralysis, ADHD executive functioning strategies that work, why ADHD and perimenopause collide in ways no one talks about, and the honest, solution-focused conversations that most ADHD podcasts aren't having. Jenna also shares her own story, what it looks like to go from chronically dysregulated to genuinely thriving, so you can see that this is possible for you.
This show gives women with ADHD, and anyone who has ever wondered whether ADHD can be diagnosed in adulthood, a path forward that isn't about coping harder, but healing.
I’ll answer questions like:
Do I have ADHD?
What is ADHD task paralysis, and how do I get unstuck?
Why is my ADHD getting worse in my 40s?
What does ADHD and perimenopause do to your brain?
How do I manage ADHD emotional dysregulation without medication alone?
Why do I procrastinate so much with ADHD?
Why don't ADHD tips and tricks ever work long-term?
What does it look like to thrive with ADHD
Can you heal ADHD symptoms without just white-knuckling through life?
What does nervous system regulation have to do with ADHD?
How do I stop feeling overwhelmed with ADHD?
If you're an adult with ADHD who's tired of the commiseration and ready for a show that believes your life can look completely different, you're in the right place.
The unedited transcript for this episode of ADHD with Jenna
[00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to the ADHD with Jenna Free podcast. [00:00:13] Today we are talking about Overwhelm. [00:00:16] What it is, why the brain does it, and how to lessen it with regulation. [00:00:21] So before we start, let's do a little check in. [00:00:24] How are you feeling? [00:00:25] Are your shoulders around your ears? [00:00:27] Are you rushing to get somewhere? [00:00:31] See if you can take a deep breath. [00:00:33] Relax those shoulders. [00:00:35] Take your time.
Jenna Free [00:00:36 - 00:01:07]:
[00:00:36] Slow down. [00:00:37] You can only do one thing at a time. [00:00:40] Okay, so this episode is brought to you by the two most hilarious reviews I've ever gotten for this podcast. [00:00:49] One was, I love the content, but her voice is so annoying. [00:00:54] So apologies for that. [00:00:55] Not much I can do about it. [00:00:57] And that the one that came right after it was trying to be nice, but they said, don't worry, you get used to it. [00:01:05] I just thought that was so funny.
Jenna Free [00:01:07 - 00:01:28]:
[00:01:07] But I will take the win. [00:01:08] They like the content. [00:01:10] They are even putting up with my annoying voice. [00:01:13] So thank you for being here and doing the same. [00:01:16] All right, so let's dive in. [00:01:18] What is overwhelm? [00:01:19] It is when the brain decides there's more to handle than it can handle. [00:01:24] So it flips into threat mode. [00:01:26] It flips into protection mode.
Understanding ADHD Overwhelm
Jenna Free [00:01:28 - 00:01:40]:[00:01:28] I need to be on alert. [00:01:29] This is a problem. [00:01:31] Time to panic. [00:01:33] So what happens in the brain is the amygdala. [00:01:36] This is the part that detects threats. [00:01:38] Lights up. [00:01:39] It signals danger. [00:01:40] Danger.
Jenna Free [00:01:40 - 00:02:15]:
[00:01:40] There's too much here. [00:01:42] And then the prefrontal cortex, this is the really important part responsible for executive functioning, like planning and prioritizing rational thinking. [00:01:52] And that goes offline. [00:01:53] Blood flow actually leaves that part of the brain. [00:01:56] And this puts you into fight or flight. [00:01:58] So your resources are shifting away from clear thinking, problem solving, and towards survival. [00:02:05] So this is going to result in a lot of reactivity, rushing, or even shutting down. [00:02:09] I know for me, especially historically, overwhelm equaled paralysis.
Jenna Free [00:02:15 - 00:02:42]:
[00:02:15] If I was overwhelmed, there's too much to do. [00:02:20] I'm stuck on the couch. [00:02:21] I can't get up. [00:02:22] It feels like there's no point in doing it because I can't do it all. [00:02:25] So it really can be a debilitating thing that we're perceiving. [00:02:30] And the brain doing all of this is what creates that I can't think straight feeling. [00:02:35] So when you have a ton to do and it feels so confusing, and you can't just pick something and move forward. [00:02:41] That's why.
Perception vs. Reality
Jenna Free [00:02:42 - 00:03:17]:[00:02:42] Because a lot of little switches are being flipped in that brain and. [00:02:46] And it's going into protection mode. [00:02:49] And of course, if you are trying to take care of Your home, taking the kids to school, at your computer, trying to work. [00:02:58] So what are you surviving? [00:02:59] Right. [00:03:00] There's no life threatening danger, but our brain thinks it is. [00:03:04] And that mismatch is really where overwhelm hurts us. [00:03:09] So as ADHDers, we are typically in chronic fight or flight. [00:03:13] So even, even minor stressors can trigger us to go into overwhelm.
Jenna Free [00:03:17 - 00:03:45]:
[00:03:17] I know for me historically like sweeping the floor felt overwhelming. [00:03:21] My notorious quote of asking my college roommate, do you ever not want to take your socks off at night because then you have to put them back on in the morning. [00:03:29] Like I was overwhelmed with the fact that I had to dress myself. [00:03:33] As someone who lives in a winter climate, I have to put socks on. [00:03:38] Well, I don't have to, but it would be very cold if I didn't. [00:03:41] But that was overwhelming. [00:03:43] Showering was overwhelming. [00:03:44] I didn't do it nearly enough.
Jenna Free [00:03:46 - 00:04:21]:
[00:03:46] Just basic simple life felt overwhelming. [00:03:50] That is biology. [00:03:51] That is not a character flaw, dare I say, not even an inherently ADHD trait. [00:03:57] But it is a state our brain can easily go into in a way that doesn't always make logical sense. [00:04:04] Right? [00:04:04] Sweeping the floor, putting on socks, showering shouldn't be overwhelming. [00:04:08] We think so. [00:04:10] We can also get really frustrated by that, which increases our dysregulation even more, causing some very big issues. [00:04:17] I know for me, quite debilitating, but just a little pin there.
Overwhelm Is Not Permanent
Jenna Free [00:04:22 - 00:05:02]:[00:04:22] That is not permanent, that is not inevitable. [00:04:25] I was working with someone and they went down a bit of an ADHD research rabbit hole, do not recommend. [00:04:33] And they were saying, oh, I've just really accepted, you know, it's so disheartening. [00:04:38] But I guess I'm just gonna accept that this type of brain is debilitating is just how I am. [00:04:43] I just gotta think that my disorganization is quirky and accept myself, which is great. [00:04:49] Accepting self compassion so important. [00:04:52] However, if you're simultaneously stamping the belief, this is how hard it's going to be, this is how hard it has to be. [00:05:00] I'm gonna be overwhelmed by showering for the rest of my life.
Jenna Free [00:05:02 - 00:05:37]:
[00:05:02] That's just how it is. [00:05:05] Very hard to make progress. [00:05:06] So in our space here, using regulation to help with adhd, those beliefs are vital. [00:05:13] If you believe it can't get better, it won't. [00:05:16] Not because you're magical, but because you're very smart and your brain's not going to work at something it doesn't think is going to work. [00:05:23] So something really important with overwhelm, when we want to work on it, is realizing this is a distortion. [00:05:30] Because even with a list of a thousand things, you can only ever do one thing at a time. [00:05:36] That's the reality.
Reality Check and Reflection
Jenna Free [00:05:37 - 00:06:15]:[00:05:37] It always has been in the week ahead. [00:05:40] I love you to reflect. [00:05:43] If any time you think about it, in any given moment, is there really that much going on? [00:05:49] I know for me, if I ever think about it, I almost laugh. [00:05:53] I'm sitting at my computer, I'm walking to the kitchen, I'm washing a dish. [00:06:01] Like, reality is actually very simple. [00:06:04] It's typically pretty calm. [00:06:06] I know it can be stimulating with lights and sounds, but the amount you're doing is always pretty small. [00:06:13] Right? [00:06:13] We can only do one thing at a time.
Perception Creates Overwhelm
Jenna Free [00:06:15 - 00:06:44]:[00:06:15] But it is the perception that creates overwhelm. [00:06:19] So when we're in fight or flight, it actually creates cognitive distortions, meaning we think in an inaccurate way or a distorted way, and temporal distortions. [00:06:29] So it distorts our perception of time. [00:06:31] So when those things start happening, we are seeing all things at once. [00:06:34] It feels like we don't have enough time. [00:06:36] We're rushing, we're frantic. [00:06:38] Now or never. [00:06:40] I know for 80 years, there's like a now, not now thinking that comes up.
Jenna Free [00:06:44 - 00:07:18]:
[00:06:44] All of that is dysregulation. [00:06:47] If you're functioning with any task being a big brick wall in front of you, of course that feels impossible to smash through. [00:06:55] Of course it feels overwhelming. [00:06:57] But what we really need to start being aware of is the wall is not real. [00:07:03] This is how we are perceiving. [00:07:06] Is not true that your life is inherently overwhelming. [00:07:09] It is not true that you have too much. [00:07:11] I know there's gonna be a lot of pushback on that, but we are absolutely, truly seeing it that way.
Compassion and Awareness
Jenna Free [00:07:18 - 00:07:37]:[00:07:18] That is a very real feeling. [00:07:20] And I'm coming at this from a place of absolute compassion and understanding. [00:07:24] So when I say these things, it is never about. [00:07:27] It's just in your head. [00:07:28] That's not at all what I'm saying. [00:07:30] What's in your head is very real. [00:07:32] It's biology, it's chemicals, it's hormones. [00:07:35] There's so much going on.
Jenna Free [00:07:38 - 00:08:09]:
[00:07:38] It's very real. [00:07:39] However, what's physically real and what our real perception is is two different things. [00:07:46] So the first step is realizing, oh, this is something I'm perceiving. [00:07:49] This is a perception I'm having. [00:07:51] It's not reality and not the truth. [00:07:54] Very important first step, because this alone calms things down. [00:07:58] Even to this day, when I'm feeling overwhelmed with work stuff or business stuff or all the things I'm working on. [00:08:05] And trust me, as someone Who I'm starting my second book shortly.
Overwhelm and Perception in Everyday Life
Jenna Free [00:08:10 - 00:08:30]:[00:08:10] Put together my certification program for other therapists to do this work. [00:08:13] Still working with groups. [00:08:14] I'm working with some new individual clients. [00:08:17] Like, I have a lot going on. [00:08:18] I am less overwhelmed now than when I had to put my socks on and shower. [00:08:24] So it is not about reality. [00:08:26] It is about our perception. [00:08:27] And knowing that to me, and I'm.
Jenna Free [00:08:30 - 00:09:14]:
[00:08:30] I'm sure it will to you if you try, it is a relief. [00:08:34] Okay, I'm perceiving this right now, but that doesn't mean it's too much. [00:08:38] It doesn't mean I can't handle it. [00:08:40] It doesn't mean I need to run away and not bother. [00:08:44] Because studies back this that naming a feeling engages the prefrontal cortex, that's the logical part of your brain, and quiets the amygdala, the part of your brain that's that animalistic panic. [00:08:56] So saying, oh, I'm in overwhelm right now, and knowing, okay, that's about how I'm seeing things. [00:09:02] Not that there's a real danger present, is not just a nice reframe, but it's the act of naming it that is doing real regulation work. [00:09:11] It brings the thinking brain part way back online.
Regulation Through Awareness
Jenna Free [00:09:14 - 00:09:40]:[00:09:14] It's bringing blood flow back to the conscious mind. [00:09:19] And that's not just positive thinking. [00:09:20] It is correcting a distorted picture. [00:09:23] We have to start realizing not seeing things clearly, and that's completely fine. [00:09:29] That's just biology. [00:09:31] No guilt or shame needed. [00:09:32] No negative feelings need to come with that. [00:09:36] They might, because we're used to using those as motivators.
Jenna Free [00:09:40 - 00:10:16]:
[00:09:40] Guilt, shame, urgency, and fear, since we're dysregulated. [00:09:43] But just note that, oh, I can notice I'm perceiving things in an inaccurate way, Period. [00:09:51] I'm just noticing it isn't that interesting, because a curious mindset is vital with this work. [00:09:58] You cannot come at regulation with a judgmental mindset because you're just gonna be going in circles. [00:10:04] Cause the second we're judging, we're back in dysregulation. [00:10:08] So the second goal is to retrain our perception. [00:10:10] So, number one, ah, I'm aware that I'm having an inaccurate perception. [00:10:15] And that's okay.
Retraining Perception
Jenna Free [00:10:16 - 00:10:44]:[00:10:16] I'm just aware of this fact. [00:10:18] And number two, I can retrain this perception. [00:10:22] So we want to shift the brain from this vertical perception or web perception, however you see it. [00:10:29] I know for me, it always felt like everything's looming. [00:10:32] It's stacking up in front of me like a brick wall. [00:10:36] Feels like so much. [00:10:37] And we want to retrain the brain to have more of a linear perception. [00:10:42] And this is not about being more neurotypical.
Jenna Free [00:10:44 - 00:11:09]:
[00:10:44] People are going to think that, I'm sure, oh, you just want to make me more normal. [00:10:50] That is not it at all. [00:10:53] Creative, complex, big picture thinking is such a gift we have. [00:10:57] And you will keep that. [00:10:59] But grounding is also a part of regulation. [00:11:02] And. [00:11:02] And the fact is time and space are linear. [00:11:05] That's a fact outside of you, that's just true.
Jenna Free [00:11:09 - 00:11:42]:
[00:11:09] So perceiving it accurately is not trying to make you neurotypical. [00:11:14] It is simply regulation, connecting with what is and seeing things more accurately for what they are. [00:11:21] So there's two visualizations you can do that are really going to help with this. [00:11:25] So the first I like to use for time. [00:11:27] And that is like a Tetris wall. [00:11:29] When you wake up in the morning and you're seeing the day ahead of you, and it's like stacking, and it's stacking and building and it's full and you're trying to squeeze it all in. [00:11:38] What could I squeeze in? [00:11:39] These tiny little spaces. [00:11:40] That is an overwhelmed perception.
Visualizations to Reduce Overwhelm
Jenna Free [00:11:42 - 00:12:03]:[00:11:42] Right? [00:11:43] Vertical, big, all at once, squeezing 10 things in at a time. [00:11:48] But the reality is the day is a dotted line. [00:11:53] One thing at a time. [00:11:54] It's all I can do. [00:11:56] I will walk. [00:11:57] There's only so much time in the day. [00:11:59] The day will end and it will start again. [00:12:01] That's the reality.
Jenna Free [00:12:03 - 00:12:32]:
[00:12:03] So you can even walk this line out loud. [00:12:07] Like, okay, the first dot, I'm brushing my teeth. [00:12:10] Second dot, I'm walking to the kitchen now I'm making coffee. [00:12:15] That's your whole day is just taking one step on this line and then going to the next dot. [00:12:22] And that's all it ever is. [00:12:24] It is never Tetris. [00:12:25] You cannot do 10 things at once. [00:12:27] You cannot stack 10 things in the same time moment.
Jenna Free [00:12:32 - 00:13:15]:
[00:12:32] And that perception will help reduce overwhelm, allow you to do things one at a time, be more present, more regulated, and get you out of the overwhelm and paralysis that we get stuck in. [00:12:47] So really try to do this in your mind's eye, even right now. [00:12:51] See how you see time. [00:12:52] How do you see a very busy day? [00:12:55] Whatever comes into your mind's eye, really try to visualize it, because we know it feels overwhelming. [00:13:00] So what is the visual of overwhelm? [00:13:02] Stacking up in front of you, trying to squeeze too much into a container of time. [00:13:09] But I need to do 50 things and I only have five hours. [00:13:12] And that's the overwhelm. [00:13:13] It's like over spilling bucket maybe.
Jenna Free [00:13:16 - 00:13:53]:
[00:13:16] And then we want to in your mind's eye, whether it be with your eyes open or with your eyes closed, or print this off if you have trouble. [00:13:23] A dotted line that is every day, 24 hours. [00:13:29] Best life. [00:13:30] One thing at a time. [00:13:32] What am I doing on this dot? [00:13:34] That perception is going to give you some permission to do things one at a time because we're connecting more with reality. [00:13:40] And what is the second visualization? [00:13:43] Just because I like to give options is a brick wall. [00:13:47] I see this more as like a large task. [00:13:50] Say you have to do your taxes and you're seeing it as a brick wall.
Jenna Free [00:13:54 - 00:14:07]:
[00:13:54] Well, I have to find my receipts and I have to figure out what I need to include. [00:13:56] And then I have to do this. [00:13:57] And then I have to call my husband to send me that other receipt. [00:14:01] And then I have to do this, and then I have to do that. [00:14:02] And it's stacking like bricks up. [00:14:04] And you go, oh my gosh. [00:14:05] To do my taxes. [00:14:06] It's so intense.
Jenna Free [00:14:07 - 00:14:32]:
[00:14:07] I have to smash through this wall. [00:14:09] I can't do it. [00:14:10] So we don't even start. [00:14:11] So we want to observe. [00:14:12] Ah. [00:14:13] Am I avoiding this task or am I in overwhelm? [00:14:16] Because I'm seeing the brick wall? [00:14:19] Okay. [00:14:20] The reality is, no matter how big the task, you can only take one step at a time. [00:14:25] So in your mind's eye, we want to have that brick wall and lay it down as a brick path.
Jenna Free [00:14:32 - 00:15:01]:
[00:14:32] You will notice a trend here. [00:14:34] Linear, one step at a time, horizontal. [00:14:38] That's how we want to perceive things because it's much more accurate. [00:14:41] And so we want to practice being present with the one next brick and even envision your foot stepping on one next brick. [00:14:49] But watch for perfectionism here. [00:14:51] There's going to be panic about stepping on the right next brick. [00:14:54] In the dysregulation showing up again. [00:14:57] Panic about stepping on the right next brick is just dysregulation showing up again.
Jenna Free [00:15:02 - 00:15:30]:
[00:15:02] Perfectionism is a mechanism of dysregulation. [00:15:05] It's trying to keep you safe, it's trying to protect you. [00:15:08] But we know in reality it is hurting you. [00:15:11] So just know there is no right brick. [00:15:13] There is just a next step to move along the path. [00:15:16] And what is that for you? [00:15:17] You can't choose wrong, but let's just take a next step. [00:15:21] So these visual shifts, of course, are just a small tool to get your mind into a more regulated place. [00:15:28] You're perceiving things more accurately.
The ADHD Regulation Method
Jenna Free [00:15:30 - 00:16:14]:[00:15:30] And this is just one tiny piece of the adhd regulation method, which is a process from A to Z to get you out of fight or flight, retrain your body, your brain and your behavior to live in a more balanced and sustainable way. [00:15:44] And when you do so, your system doesn't need to be hyper vigilant, rushing, trying to do it all at once, overwhelmed by daily life or even a big complicated life. [00:15:55] You might think, well, not me. [00:15:57] My life is overwhelming. [00:15:59] I have kids and I have a very complicated job and I have this, I have that, so does everybody else. [00:16:04] And yet so do many other people. [00:16:06] And yet you still cannot bend linear space and time. [00:16:11] That is still a fact, no matter what.
Living in Reality
Jenna Free [00:16:14 - 00:16:46]:[00:16:14] And that's the reality we're living in. [00:16:16] So we really want to connect with that more and more and more so we can live a regulated life where things don't feel overwhelming. [00:16:23] You can do hard things, you can do complex tasks, and you will do them one step at a time, just like everybody else. [00:16:30] So I'm here to say overwhelm is real. [00:16:33] That is a real feeling and a very true perception. [00:16:38] However, it is not the truth. [00:16:42] You were never going to do it all at once. [00:16:45] Nobody can.
Acceptance and Permission
Jenna Free [00:16:46 - 00:17:23]:[00:16:46] You can't get it all done right now. [00:16:48] You can't even get it all done today. [00:16:50] And that is okay. [00:16:52] This work is really about connecting back to the truth, acceptance of time and space being linear. [00:16:59] I'm only one person and I can only be in one place at one time, and it's okay. [00:17:04] And honestly, this episode right here might just be about giving you permission to live in that reality because we think, well, I have to make up for lost time. [00:17:13] I wasn't productive enough yesterday, so now I've got to go twofold. [00:17:16] And we try to bend time and space and get this intensity going which creates the overwhelm and causes so many problems.
Conclusion and Resources
Jenna Free [00:17:24 - 00:17:58]:[00:17:24] So just when you notice that happening, take a deep breath, do one of those visualizations if you need to. [00:17:32] And remember, one step at a time. [00:17:35] Thank you so much for tuning in to this quick episode. [00:17:38] I really hope you had even a small aha here. [00:17:41] And thank you for enduring my annoying voice. [00:17:45] It's only funny because I know it's slightly true. [00:17:47] I know what they're talking about, but there's really not much I can do about it. [00:17:52] So if you are an ADHDer looking for some relief, feel free to grab my free ADHD regulation guide.
Jenna Free [00:17:58 - 00:18:26]:
[00:17:58] And if you are a therapist or coach or anyone who works with ADHDers, we are opening our certification program for the ADHD regulation method this September. [00:18:07] I am so excited about it. [00:18:09] You can join the wait list right now, which will give you a free PDF you can use right away and you'll be on the list to learn more as I roll out a free private podcast just for clinicians about this work and have a lot more resources coming your way. [00:18:23] So thank you so much again and we'll see you next week.